Changing Times

I've not written for a while due to  moving across the ocean literally ;) after almost 3 months finally we got our computer and furniture so we are still adjusting but hopefully things will fall into place. It's a new town and new place I will write more soon :)

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                                         When enough is enough

Today started as any other day I took my oldest son to school told him I love him and wave bye as we saw him walk towards his class. Camilla and I still waving and getting ready to go back to car  then this Kindergarten boy comes towards us and stops and walks back and asks me if her hand was broken I said no and told him to go to class. So he goes in and decides to invite half of his class to go outside and look at the girl's broken arm (his words of choice not mine) and point to Camilla so I'm thinking where in the world is the teacher that don't see all these kids outside ? So I walked towards the kids and told another teacher who happens to be outside and very clueless of all these kids pointing and saying things so I ask her where is this class teacher? because these kids are being very rude towards my daughter and I left when she told the kids to go inside. Did I went too far? Did momma bear came full force as I watched that my daughter was being uncomfortable? it breaks my heart to be honest for her but I feel my blood is boiling when kids are rude and stares because there's a difference between being curious and being a bullied. Some kids have no compassion   whatsoever and that makes me a pissed off momma. So I had to breath and try to calm down and remember that  she's beautiful and perfect the way she  is but sometimes enough is enough.

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Happy Mother's Day

How was your mother's day? I hope you had a great one being a mom is one of the best feelings in the world as I look back at my children they have only given me the purest love, the greatest  laughs, the funniest giggles and that unconditional peace every time I look into their eyes and  I know that everything will be OK. I'm very thankful to God for giving me the best present that I could ever wish for being a mommy.  Here is a  poem that I really like :

Author: Unknown

Before I was a Mom...

I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom... I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom... I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom... I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about Immunizations.

Before I was a Mom... I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on or pinched by tiny fingers. I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, and my body. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom... I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom... I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom... I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom... I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

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The LORD does not look at the thing man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance - but the LORD look at the heart. -1 Samuel 16:7

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Yesterday we went to a community event lots of kids since is spring break which means looks of questions, stares, gasp, and mean very mean comments towards my daughter's arm which by the way doesn't seem to bother her she has such a sweet spirit such a happy soul. I had to tell some kids to back off but as I watched and heard what some kids were saying it broke my heart I was very emotionally and mentally tired at the end of the day . As I observed and listened to all that and told some kids to back off I thought about the future is this the society that we have now? kids don't have any compassion or care what so ever towards another child with a limb difference? I remember when I was growing up I never ask or said mean things to anyone regardless of their difference because it never matter to me, but now kids are so cruel that to be honest it makes me nervous what she''ll have to hear when is her time to be out there on her own without mommy to protect her. She's very independent and I let her be herself and handle some kids her way I do interfere when I see that the kid doesn't leave her alone and is being just cruel. I know I cannot put her in a bubble and that's is not my intent I want her to have a happy, joyful life and I want her to know that she can do anything that her heart desires but I still have fears and a sadness that she may be bullied and I wish I could control that, to shelter her from all the bad isn't what parents are supposed to do? I guess our job as parents are to worried about our kids but when you have a child with a limb difference your worries are two times more.

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You are the best

I just want to write something quickly before resuming to our homeschool day and getting on with our busy day. I homeschool our oldest son who's in third grade so I'm hoping to write more soon. A very sweet reminder of what a truly blessing Camilla is in our lives lately she tells me out of the blue You're the best! those simple words that make my day a little happier a little brighter but I tell her you're the best Camilla and I truly believe that Camilla and Mark are the best! and a blessing from above to us. Have a great week everyone and make today the best day :)

I'm reading: You are the best

Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland

I'm reading: Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley